November 23, 2016

Another Letter to Family & Friends

Dear Family & Friends,

Today Scott and I met with Dr. Foulk, our fertility specialist,  to talk about what went wrong with the most recent IVF treatment.  

Dr. Foulk explained that he likes to determine what went wrong based off of three things...and here's what he thinks:

1. Embryos: the embryos looked great when they were thawed, so that likely wasn't the problem. 
2. Uterus: the uterus looked good, so that likely wasn't the problem either, especially since we waited a month after the egg retrieval to let my body calm down from the hyper-stimulation.

3. Luck: we just had bad luck this round.  


We could go through everything again, just the same, but Dr. Foulk wants to do everything he can to improve our chances.  This time he is going to give me a medication that will increase the receptors in my uterus for he embryo(s) to attach.

Dr. Foulk used this analogy to help us understand how the receptors and embryos work together --  the receptors are like fibers on a carpet with round velcro circles on a carpet, and the embryos are like tennis balls bouncing around until they get caught on a velcro circle.  This last time, it's possible my uterus didn't have enough receptors for the embryo to latch onto in time.  This is hard to analyze or test before a transfer without a biopsy or removing parts of my tissue (which would cost more time and money).  


To improve the chances for the next transfer to work, Dr. Foulk will inject, into my uterus, a growth hormone to increase the number of receptors (or strengthen the receptors, I can't remember) in my uterus and then increase the chances for the embryo to latch on to the uterine wall.  The research is based off the same idea when one is given growth hormone to increase their white blood cells when fighting infection. 



Here are a couple links if you feel like reading more about the research Dr. Foulk has done:



This next time, with the increased receptors, we are hoping we will have increased/better luck and the embryos will both stick.  One embryo has a 55% chance of taking.  If we add two embryos then that increases the chances of at least one embryo taking from 55% to 75% chance.  With increased chances of having more than one embryo plus the increased receptors, Dr. Foulk and we are very hopeful this next FET (frozen embryo transfer) will be successful.  

Now for maybe a bit "TMI", but it decides the timing for the next transfer: depending on when my period starts, it will determine when we do the transfer.  If it starts on the 1st-3rd of December, we'll do the transfer on December 23rd.  If it starts on December 4th or later, we'll do the transfer in January.  The period cycle indicates when I have to start taking all the preparatory medications/shots to prepare my body for the transfer and there's supposed to be close to two weeks from the start of my cycle to the day of the FET.

We love you all and can't express how much we appreciate your love and support.  

xoxo

November 1, 2016

Day 1

With the events of yesterday, I am still full of emotions.  It's hard to believe everything that has happened, when it all feels like it was just a dream...or nightmare.  

I was able to laugh and forget about all the heartache for a moment with my students today during one of our lessons.  Several of the vocabulary words we learned today completely tied right into my feelings.  We talked about the words annoyed, frustrated, cranky, and selfish...which all hit home with how I was feeling inside.  I could've used all the words as an example for my students, but decided not to.  So, now I get to share them with you.  

Yes, I am annoyed that after everything we have been through, nothing happened.  It felt like I was flushing thousands of dollars right down the toilet.  I am frustrated about the whole situation and want answers NOW.  Which makes me very selfish, but I'll just wait to learn why at a later time.  I may or may not be cranky today, but what do you expect when you learn what we just did.  

Look at that! I wrote a whole paragraph using all of the vocabulary words.  My students think it's the hardest thing to do, but when the words are so great and fit in with life, you can easily write a paragraph.  


Today, I decided that even with all the sad things that have happened, I need some good in my life.  A while ago I came across a "30 Days of Gratitude" post, which I knew back then I really wanted to do.  If you asked me yesterday to do it, I would've said NO WAY! But after some time, I feel like it is what I need most as this time.  

These are meant to be Journal Prompts, so I won't be sharing with you my response to all, but for today I will.  Here is the link to the website where I found the prompts, if you are interested in doing this as well.  

Day 1: What smell are you grateful for? 

Who doesn't love the smell of fall and Christmas?! The spices, pine, berries.  Mmmm! I just LOVE them all.  When I smell that, I think of family and friends gathering for the holidays.  I get anxious to grab a book and cuddle up and read or watch a movie.  For a season, things slow down and we can sit back and enjoy the time to do what we love.  

Here are the rest of the prompts/questions for the rest of the month: 

  1. What technology are you grateful for?
  2. What color are you grateful for?
  3. What food are you most grateful for?
  4. What sound are you grateful for today?
  5. What in nature are you grateful for?
  6. What memory are you grateful for?
  7. What book are you most grateful for?
  8. What place are you most grateful for?
  9. What taste are you grateful for today?
  10. What holiday are you grateful for?
  11. What texture are you grateful for?
  12. What abilities are you grateful for?
  13. What sight are you grateful for today?
  14. What season are you grateful for?
  15. What about your body are you grateful for?
  16. What knowledge are you grateful for?
  17. What piece of art are you grateful for?
  18. What touch are you grateful for today?
  19. Who in your life are you grateful for?
  20. What song are you most grateful for?
  21. What story are you grateful for?
  22. What tradition are you grateful for?
  23. What challenge are you grateful for?
  24. What moment this week are you most grateful for?
  25. What form of expression are you most grateful for?
  26. What small thing that you use daily are you grateful for?
  27. What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?
  28. What friend/family member are you grateful for today?
  29. What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?
Thank you all for your love and support through thick and thin.  You are a strength to us and have a stronger hope for the future knowing that we are not alone.