Another Letter to Family & Friends

Dear Family & Friends,

Today Scott and I met with Dr. Foulk, our fertility specialist,  to talk about what went wrong with the most recent IVF treatment.  

Dr. Foulk explained that he likes to determine what went wrong based off of three things...and here's what he thinks:

1. Embryos: the embryos looked great when they were thawed, so that likely wasn't the problem. 

2. Uterus: the uterus looked good, so that likely wasn't the problem either, especially since we waited a month after the egg retrieval to let my body calm down from the hyper-stimulation.

3. Luck: we just had bad luck this round.  

We could go through everything again, just the same, but Dr. Foulk wants to do everything he can to improve our chances.  This time he is going to give me a medication that will increase the receptors in my uterus for he embryo(s) to attach.

Dr. Foulk used this analogy to help us understand how the receptors and embryos work together --  the receptors are like fibers on a carpet with round velcro circles on a carpet, and the embryos are like tennis balls bouncing around until they get caught on a velcro circle.  This last time, it's possible my uterus didn't have enough receptors for the embryo to latch onto in time.  This is hard to analyze or test before a transfer without a biopsy or removing parts of my tissue (which would cost more time and money).  

To improve the chances for the next transfer to work, Dr. Foulk will inject, into my uterus, a growth hormone to increase the number of receptors (or strengthen the receptors, I can't remember) in my uterus and then increase the chances for the embryo to latch on to the uterine wall.  The research is based off the same idea when one is given growth hormone to increase their white blood cells when fighting infection. 

Here are a couple links if you feel like reading more about the research Dr. Foulk has done:

http://science.sciencemag.org/content/299/5605/405

https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2003-01/nioc-rdh011603.php

This next time, with the increased receptors, we are hoping we will have increased/better luck and the embryos will both stick.  One embryo has a 55% chance of taking.  If we add two embryos then that increases the chances of at least one embryo taking from 55% to 75% chance.  With increased chances of having more than one embryo plus the increased receptors, Dr. Foulk and we are very hopeful this next FET (frozen embryo transfer) will be successful.  

Now for maybe a bit "TMI", but it decides the timing for the next transfer: depending on when my period starts, it will determine when we do the transfer.  If it starts on the 1st-3rd of December, we'll do the transfer on December 23rd.  If it starts on December 4th or later, we'll do the transfer in January.  The period cycle indicates when I have to start taking all the preparatory medications/shots to prepare my body for the transfer and there's supposed to be close to two weeks from the start of my cycle to the day of the FET.

We love you all and can't express how much we appreciate your love and support.  

xoxo

Day 1

With the events of yesterday, I am still full of emotions.  It's hard to believe everything that has happened, when it all feels like it was just a dream...or nightmare.  

I was able to laugh and forget about all the heartache for a moment with my students today during one of our lessons.  Several of the vocabulary words we learned today completely tied right into my feelings.  We talked about the words annoyed, frustrated, cranky, and selfish...which all hit home with how I was feeling inside.  I could've used all the words as an example for my students, but decided not to.  So, now I get to share them with you.  

Yes, I am annoyed that after everything we have been through, nothing happened.  It felt like I was flushing thousands of dollars right down the toilet.  I am frustrated about the whole situation and want answers NOW.  Which makes me very selfish, but I'll just wait to learn why at a later time.  I may or may not be cranky today, but what do you expect when you learn what we just did.  

Look at that! I wrote a whole paragraph using all of the vocabulary words.  My students think it's the hardest thing to do, but when the words are so great and fit in with life, you can easily write a paragraph.  


Today, I decided that even with all the sad things that have happened, I need some good in my life.  A while ago I came across a "30 Days of Gratitude" post, which I knew back then I really wanted to do.  If you asked me yesterday to do it, I would've said NO WAY! But after some time, I feel like it is what I need most as this time.  

These are meant to be Journal Prompts, so I won't be sharing with you my response to all, but for today I will.  Here is the link to the website where I found the prompts, if you are interested in doing this as well.  

Day 1: What smell are you grateful for? 

Who doesn't love the smell of fall and Christmas?! The spices, pine, berries.  Mmmm! I just LOVE them all.  When I smell that, I think of family and friends gathering for the holidays.  I get anxious to grab a book and cuddle up and read or watch a movie.  For a season, things slow down and we can sit back and enjoy the time to do what we love.  

Here are the rest of the prompts/questions for the rest of the month: 

1. What technology are you grateful for?
2. What color are you grateful for?
3. What food are you most grateful for?
4. What sound are you grateful for today?
5. What in nature are you grateful for?
6. What memory are you grateful for?
7. What book are you most grateful for?
8. What place are you most grateful for?
9. What taste are you grateful for today?
10. What holiday are you grateful for?
11. What texture are you grateful for?
12. What abilities are you grateful for?
13. What sight are you grateful for today?
14. What season are you grateful for?
15. What about your body are you grateful for?
16. What knowledge are you grateful for?
17. What piece of art are you grateful for?
18. What touch are you grateful for today?
19. Who in your life are you grateful for?
20. What song are you most grateful for?
21. What story are you grateful for?
22. What tradition are you grateful for?
23. What challenge are you grateful for?
24. What moment this week are you most grateful for?
25. What form of expression are you most grateful for?
26. What small thing that you use daily are you grateful for?
27. What small thing that happened today are you grateful for?
28. What friend/family member are you grateful for today?
29. What talent or skill do you have that you are grateful for?

Thank you all for your love and support through thick and thin.  You are a strength to us and have a stronger hope for the future knowing that we are not alone.  

A Letter to Our Family & Friends

Dear Family & Friends,

Words cannot express our love and appreciation for you all.  Your prayers, thoughts, good vibes, whatever it may be, we felt so much support from each and every one of you.

Going through In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) and a Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) is very hard physically and emotionally.  It is so helpful having a support team.  Whether you are family, friends, or an acquaintance, you are a part of our team.  We could not do this alone, and you are a huge part of our life and story.

This morning I went in for the HCG blood draw, to find out if I was pregnant or not.  The nurse told me that they would call me with the results in the afternoon.

Sadly, they called and told me that the test came back negative.

We have been full of frustration, confusion, anger, and devastation.  I haven't been able to talk much, but have been able to cry and scream.  I know as the days go on things will get easier,  but it will take some time.

As of now, we don't know when we will continue with another round.  We will be meeting with Dr. Foulk (our fertility specialist) this coming month on November 21st; we hope to learn more about what issues may have caused the FET to be unsuccessful and to learn what steps lie ahead.

Although this isn't the result we were hoping and praying for, we believe it's all in the Lord's plan and timing...and we choose to accept that.

My dad shared a scripture with me that was perfect for the timing and situation today.  "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage and he shall strengthen thine heart; wait, I say, on the Lord." (Psalms 27:14)

Thank you again for being there for us.  We are so grateful for all of your love and support.

Love,
Ali and Scott

Patiently Waiting

Some of you may have seen this little video I made on one of my "Princess Days" last week after the transfer.  The "Princess Days" were basically the post-op directions, which meant I had to be a couch potato.  I didn't complain about that...it is nice every now and then just sit around and read and watch a show or movie all day.

Here's a small glimpse into what the day of the transfer was like for the two of us.  

On Saturday we decided to take a drive to meet up with Scotts's sister and her family in Midway.  We went to the best creamery I've been to since living in Idaho...and I have been missing that amazing ice cream fresh from those creameries!  After having a tasty little treat, we went and drove around looking at the beautiful homes there.  My Goodness!!!  I will admit it that I have a few dream home up there, and if Scott and I stay in Utah for the rest of our lives, we are moving to Midway!

After my Mom heard I was up in Midway/Heber not sitting at home on the couch being a "couch potato" she gave me those Mom eyes, we all now when we see them.  Haha.  So when I got home, I put her at ease by doing something she told me I needed to do every day to make those little embryos stick.

Now, we keep waiting until next week to find out if I am officially preggers.  Yes...I feel like it is taking for-ev-er but soon enough the day will be here that we can't wait for.

Until the next update!

Next Step: FET

You might be wondering, what does FET stand for?

Frozen Embryo Transfer.  That's right! Next Thursday, October 20, is the BIG day!

That means I'm back on a schedule with all the medications again.  To give you glimpse of everything that I'm using for the Frozen Embryo Transfer, here is everything...

Last week I started taking two estrogen shots a week, and that will continue.  Tomorrow I'll start taking a progesterone shot, which will continue daily.  Then Sunday and Monday are big days with the Z-pack and steroids (those only go for a few days of next week).  Then, it's Thursday, the Transfer Day!

If things go well and the embryo(s) take - we are implanting two - I'll continue shots for 10 more weeks.  I know that's a lot to keep doing, but it will all be worth it!

I still can't believe that the transfer day is here!  Just last month we were thinking we would transfer, and plans changed, for my health and a successful transfer.  Now, it's really happening and I'm getting all the butterflies about the whole thing every time I think about it.  This is such a big step and will completely change our family and future.  I am anxious to know how everything will go and what the end result will be.

I know this isn't much for now, but next week it is a BIG week and I'll share with you all as much as I possibly can!

A Few of My Favorite Things

This time of year is one of my favorite times of year.  Who doesn't love fall?! The beautiful colors, the cool breeze, wearing warm and cozy sweaters and scarves...the list could go on and on and on.
During the stressful and busy times of life, I like taking the time to think and reflect on a few of my favorite things.

The Alpine Loop in Utah is absolutely beautiful this time of year.  Scott and I took the time during General Conference this last week to drive my sisters up through the Alpine Loop.  I don't think words can express the beauty up that canyon, so here's the pictures I got on the drive.

Speaking of General Conference Weekend, I love knowing that there is a living prophet today.  He speaks to us and gives us the guidance and direction we need today.  Thomas S. Monson spoke as well as apostles and other leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  The words spoken we so powerful and gave me such a boost in my spirits.
One of my favorite speakers talked about Joy and how powerful it is.  Joy is incredible and can heal and bless your life and others as well.  I can't imagine life without joy.  There are so many things like fall, family, friends, school, baking, and more that bring joy into my life each and every day.

Another thing that I love, is loving so close to a place very close to my heart.  Temple Square.  I spent 18 months as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on the incredible Temple Square.  Anytime I have a chance to walk around those grounds, I reflect back on those days and remember the sweet people I met and all the incredible experiences I had.

One last thing I love doing, all year long, is working out! I always love trying new things, especially classes.  If you haven't heard of the new class HIGH, you're missing out! It is such a fun class and you get the best workout too! I have made some great friends and look up to so man of the teachers for the love and dedication to healthy lives.  I was lucky enough to snap the quick (sweaty) picture with two of my favorite teachers, Metta and Rochelle.  They have helped me in so many more ways than I ever thought a gym class teacher would.  They are more than just a teacher...they're the one's who give me strength, support, bring happiness into my life, make me feel good, and more.  If you know these two ladies consider yourself lucky, and if you don't you need to meet them! 

Find what makes you happy.  What are your favorite things? Figure out what they are and make sure you always have something in your life that makes you happy and brings joy into your life each and every day.  

Time to Till the Soil

Sorry to have been so MIA this week.  After the egg retrieval last Sunday, September18, I have been on a "slow" road to recovery.  It's common to have bloating and cramping, and that's what I've been dealing with all week, and it's been the worst I've ever experienced.  I'm sure going to work the day after wasn't the best idea, but I can't help spending a day away from my students.

On Friday, September 16, I went in for one of my routine blood draws.  A couple hours later I got a call that my levels were all where they needed to be for the trigger shot!  I wasn't expecting the trigger shot until the following Monday and retrieval on Wednesday.  However, we needed to listen to my body and get those eggs out at the perfect timing.

That night I received a call with all the plans and instructions leading up to the retrieval on Sunday, September 18.  The timing of everything is crucial at this point.
At 10:00 PM on Friday I needed to give myself the HCG trigger shot.  That was the huge scary needle...then I learned that the huge needle wasn't going into my body, it was used to draw up the liquid, then we switched over to a regular needed like I'd been using.

 
Saturday, September 17, I was to take a pregnancy test.  This would let us know if the HCG trigger shot worked.  The test was positive, so that means everything worked the way it was supposed to and we were going in Sunday for the egg retrieval.
Sunday, September 18, Scott, Olivia (my sister) and I all headed to the Clinic to be there at 9:30 AM.  I checked in and soon after the anesthesiologist called my back to get things going for the egg retrieval.

The procedure was about 30 minutes.  After I woke up I remember the anesthesiologist walking me to the recovery room, and on the way we walked past the lab where they were starting to look at all 15 eggs they were able to harvest!  I was pretty out of it, so I don't remember too much beyond that.

This past week I've been getting updates as to how things are going with the embryos.  On Monday, September 19, the Clinic called and said that they did a rescue ICSI, which means that they had to inject each egg with sperm to get it fertilized to begin the process of growing an embryo.  We weren't expecting that, but we are so grateful that they did it for us.  When they checked the embryos that day, 12 of them were maturing (of the other three, two stopped maturing and one did not have a "shell" - that means the fluid was all there, but not contained).  By Wednesday there were 10 embryos maturing, and then on Friday we got the shocking news that only 3 embryos were maturing, but possibly 4.  They explained to us that days 3-5 are the biggest "growth spurt" they go through.  The embryo is at about 8 cells on day 3 and by day 5 to be maturing correctly it should be split into 150 cells! That was so fascinating to learn that they grow and split that much in just those few days.

Yesterday, Friday, I got another update saying that 3 of the embryos were frozen and they were watching the last embryo over night and checking it this morning to see how it was looking.

We went to a boutique show last night in Pleasant Grove and happened to drive past the clinic on our way home.  We cheered our little embryo on to keep growing and we have been saying many prayers that the last embryo would mature enough to freeze with the other 3, to give us a total of 4.  Not too long ago, today, we got a call from the Clinic that the 4th embryo had matured and was going to be frozen with the other 3.  YAYY!!!  We have 4 embryos being frozen and will be ready to implant next month.

That's a change in the timeline, that we knew could potentially happen.  Dr. Foulk called me on Wednesday and explained to me why he wanted us to wait until next month.  He said that because my ovary reacted so quickly to all the medication, he suspects that not much of he medication was able to prepare the uterus to accept implantation.  He put it into terms that I could understand and said that my uterus wasn't ready this month, and we needed to "till the soil" in my uterus to get it ready for implantation next month.  
As of now, I am not taking any medications and will begin preparing for implantation with more medication in a few weeks.  The date we have planned for now is to implant on October 20th or 21st.  Then two weeks after that we'll know how many of the embryos took (we're planning on implanting two of the four embryos).

It's hard to believe that everything is happening, and now we're being reminded that our Heavenly Father has a hand in everything.  When Scott and I were trying to plan everything originally, we were hoping to go through IVF in October.  As we told the clinic that's what we wanted to do, they informed us that Dr. Foulk wouldn't be in the office that month, because he'd be visit his other clinics in various states.  Surprisingly, the timeline we were hoping for is going to work out.  The days that we have set to implant are the exact dates that Dr. Foulk will be attending a conference here, in Salt Lake.  So, he said he would absolutely be here on the day we chose to implant.

We know that things are working out in perfect timing and we know that prayers are answered.  Through this whole experience, Scott and I lean on one another, but most importantly our Heavenly Father.  He is the one that is there to strengthen us and guide us in these big decisions we are making in our life.  We have longed to be parents for a few years now, and it is finally going to happen.

Thank you to those who continue to love and support us through this journey.  We know we are not alone, and feel your love each and every day.

IVF is a GO

If you're not familiar with our story, here's a little refresher.
Scott and I met back in 2013 while we were living in Alpine, Utah.  We then moved to Provo, Utah where Scott finished his last 2 years going to school and playing rugby for BYU.  During that time I was teaching elementary school - first and second grade.  Last year we moved to Lehi, Utah so we could both be closer to our jobs.
Over the past 2 years Scott and I have been wanting to start a family of our own, but we've had a few set backs.  After an ovarian torsion and ectopic pregnancy, we decided it was time to go through with IVF.

As of August 22 it started and we couldn't be more excited for what lies ahead.  Yes, we have our moments of question and worry, but we know that there is a plan for us to have a family and this is the way it is going to happen.  We put our trust in Heavenly Father and know that everything will work out.


August 22: Scott and I officially started taking medications to prepare for IVF.  We both needed to take an antibiotic to clear our systems of any infections or any infections we could be carrying.

August 27: I began taking Lupron.  This drug overstimulate's the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily.

September 3: We participated in a 5k with some family and friends to promote infertility awareness.  Footsteps for Fertility provides grants for those who apply.  There is a big lottery at the end of the race, which we were hoping we would receive a grant.  Sadly, we did not receive a grant, but it was such a special experience where we got to see and meet so many other couples struggling and fighting through infertility.

These are all the tickets wee added into the lottery.  

Thanks for all the love and support from those there and those that chose the "sleep in" option.  

September 9: Scott needed to get some blood work done, and I had my baseline ultrasounds.  We found out from my ultrasound that there are 16 (or more) follicle's in my right ovary.  That was some great news!

Our future Gowdy Babies are somewhere in this picture.  

September 10:  Dr. Foulk looked over everything and I was cleared to start all the other medications.  For the next 10 days I'll be taking Lupron, Follistim, and Menopur.  My mornings are very busy now, but it'll all be worth it.  Luckily I have Scott helping me out, I don't think I'd be able to do this without him.

Everything it takes to get pregnant through science.  

We are so grateful for doctors and all those that have researched and studied for so many years to make IVF a successful way for families like us to have children.  Day by day we look forward to the future that lies ahead and can't wait to find out what our future holds.

A Change of Perspective

As you may have noticed by now, my life isn't where I thought it would be.  If you're not sure what I'm talking about, let me give you a little run down.

Right now I thought life would be rowdy in a different way.  I thought I would be a stay at home mom with one kid, and thoughts of a second kid.  I would have mom friends that I could lean on to help me learn what to do and what not to do.  My days would be a little busier trying to raise a kid with diapers being changed, feeding, teaching, loving, laughing, and keep the house clean.  

Currently, my life is pretty rowdy with teaching my wonderful students, supporting Scott, working on my dreams, and serving with the youth in my church.  I am definitely not complaining about my life, because life is still great!

With the way my life has gone now, I've been noticing I've had a change of perspective of what I want to do and can do with this blog.

From here on out I will continue sharing with you the story of our life, along with a few extra things.
With my love of teaching, I'm going to share ideas and crafts you can do with your little ones.  I will try and focus on crafts that are related to a book, so you can read the book together and then do the craft.  Reading with your children is so important and beneficial for both of you, so I'm hoping to create opportunities for you and your families.

I have such a love for fitness! I enjoy exercising regularly and recognize the benefits of staying physically active in your life. I find different things that help me in a variety of ways, and I look forward to sharing them with you to help you be more happy and confident with your life.

I may or may not have a love for food, especially treats.  Growing up, my mom would always let me help her make treats.  Eventually, I would make the treats on my own for our family and friends.  It has become a stress reliever for me to bake, and we all need to have something to help us relieve a little stress.  Prepare yourself for some awesome recipes to try out on your own!

I find happiness each and every day by keeping balance in my life with the three things I have mentioned: crafts, fitness, and occasional sweet tooth favorites.  This blog is going to be more focused on those three things, and I hope that it can be something that still interests you.  I may not personally know you, but I hope to bring happiness into your life.  So please continue to share with me your hopes, dreams, and ideas.

Let's change the world together with our confidence and beauty!

Girls Camp Invitations

So far this year, I've been keeping myself busy preparing for Girls Camp this summer.  The girls that attend my church ages 12-18 have the opportunity to go and spend a week in nature and experience the great out doors while learning a variety of things.

Not too much has happened for Girls Camp, but we have decided on a theme and are getting ready for Camp Kick-off where we give the girls some details about camp.  I'm so excited to tell them what we have planned! So far, with the very little they know, they are already excited and that makes me even more excited!

Here is a look at our invitations for Camp Kick-off and the Save the Date we will give them at Camp Kick-off this week.

Other than the red glitter ribbon around the waist, this was all paper, that I cut to be the shape I wanted. 

We got bricks at Home Depot ($0.51 per brick) then spray painted them yellow.  Printed out the invitations and hot glued them to the brick to make sure they would stick. The last touch was the blue and white gingham tied around the brick and finished with a bow.  

Tuesday night is Camp Kick-off, so I'll take more pictures to share with you soon after. 

I hope you all had a great weekend.  Good luck with those Monday blues...I know we all get them.  

Full of Emotions...

For the past few months I have seriously lived the life of Riley, from the movie Inside Out, with all of the emotions I am experiencing.  All the joy, sadness, fear, anger, and little disgust has me all over the place.  Life for us right now is like Screaming California, at California Adventure.  Things have been going so fast and aren't slowing down anytime soon.  We've had things come out of no where, we've had ups, we've had downs, and we've had some upside-downs.
Just to take a little trip down memory lane for some joy we had over Christmas.  Scott and I were able to go to Virginia to spend a week with his family.  It was so fun to be with everyone that made it out, and enjoy the simplicity of life away from home.

 Who doesn't love spending time playing with kids...they bring out the best of us, especially during the holidays.  

We took a day-trip up to Washington DC, my first time there, and it was incredible.  I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to go and visit such special places.  

 The love everyone has for these cuties is unbelievable.  Oreo and Lucy were the life of the party.  Haha.

For New Years Eve, Scott and I were asked to go and help with the Youth Dance.  It was a pretty easy thing to help out with, and we had so much fun getting to spend the time together.  Made New Years Eve for us a little more eventful.  

  The new year came and it's going faster and faster.  We are both busy with work and all the other fun things we have going on.  About a month ago, I was called to serve as the Young Women's Camp Director for my ward.  It is hard to believe how different Girls Camp is here in Utah, compared to what I grew up with in California.  Regardless, it's going to be so fun and I can't wait to get the girls excited for the fun time we will have at camp.  Here's a look at what I've worked on so far...it's really not much, but it's a start.

Now, onto what has caused me to have so many emotions...

Back in December, I called the fertility specialist to schedule an appointment.  The doctor I was referred to had a three, yes, THREE month wait.  I didn't think the day would ever come, but it finally did.  

The whole waiting game was joyful, fearful, and full of moments of anger and sadness, just thinking of the possibilities.  This past Monday we went to our first appointment and it went so well! Scott and I feel so lucky to be working with this doctor, and we know that we are in the best hands we could ever be in.  I've gone through some tests and we're taking steps in the right direction, so we'll see what happens.  

Oh, and one more thing...that brings me so much joy! I've started a new workout program and I am LOVING IT! I have already seen huge improvements and I can't wait to see the progress that I keep making.  

But really, look at those ^ shoulders and traps! And that was even at the beginning of the workout :)

The simple things like that make me so happy.