2nd Frozen Embryo Transfer

2nd Frozen Embryo Transfer from Ali Gowdy on Vimeo.

Full of Emotions...

For the past few months I have seriously lived the life of Riley, from the movie Inside Out, with all of the emotions I am experiencing.  All the joy, sadness, fear, anger, and little disgust has me all over the place.  Life for us right now is like Screaming California, at California Adventure.  Things have been going so fast and aren't slowing down anytime soon.  We've had things come out of no where, we've had ups, we've had downs, and we've had some upside-downs.
Just to take a little trip down memory lane for some joy we had over Christmas.  Scott and I were able to go to Virginia to spend a week with his family.  It was so fun to be with everyone that made it out, and enjoy the simplicity of life away from home.

 Who doesn't love spending time playing with kids...they bring out the best of us, especially during the holidays.  

We took a day-trip up to Washington DC, my first time there, and it was incredible.  I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to go and visit such special places.  

 The love everyone has for these cuties is unbelievable.  Oreo and Lucy were the life of the party.  Haha.

For New Years Eve, Scott and I were asked to go and help with the Youth Dance.  It was a pretty easy thing to help out with, and we had so much fun getting to spend the time together.  Made New Years Eve for us a little more eventful.  

  The new year came and it's going faster and faster.  We are both busy with work and all the other fun things we have going on.  About a month ago, I was called to serve as the Young Women's Camp Director for my ward.  It is hard to believe how different Girls Camp is here in Utah, compared to what I grew up with in California.  Regardless, it's going to be so fun and I can't wait to get the girls excited for the fun time we will have at camp.  Here's a look at what I've worked on so far...it's really not much, but it's a start.

Now, onto what has caused me to have so many emotions...

Back in December, I called the fertility specialist to schedule an appointment.  The doctor I was referred to had a three, yes, THREE month wait.  I didn't think the day would ever come, but it finally did.  

The whole waiting game was joyful, fearful, and full of moments of anger and sadness, just thinking of the possibilities.  This past Monday we went to our first appointment and it went so well! Scott and I feel so lucky to be working with this doctor, and we know that we are in the best hands we could ever be in.  I've gone through some tests and we're taking steps in the right direction, so we'll see what happens.  

Oh, and one more thing...that brings me so much joy! I've started a new workout program and I am LOVING IT! I have already seen huge improvements and I can't wait to see the progress that I keep making.  

But really, look at those ^ shoulders and traps! And that was even at the beginning of the workout :)

The simple things like that make me so happy.  

Life is Hard...sometimes

Let's be honest.  Life is HARD!
Sure we all make our lives look pretty fabulous on social media, and because of that our lives look like they are super easy and fun.  Let me tell you, I don't blame you for making your life look fabulous...I probably do the same.  Do we really want everyone to know what hard things we are going through, all the time?!
Mmmm...probably not.
We all struggle and go through hard times, more than once in our lives.
We each live a life that is different from everyone else.  Our lives take us on different paths, and they might be what we planned and expected, or they might not.
Do I have moments of weakness? Do I break down and cry on my husbands shoulder? Do I worry about my health? Do I worry about money? Do I worry about the future?
Yes, yes, and YES!
Do not be ashamed of the hard things that you go through in your life.  They give you experience.  They teach you how to make better decisions next time, if you need to.  They allow you to help others that go through similar hard times.  Most importantly, they make you, YOU!
"And if men come unto me I will show them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." (Ether 12:27)
What a great lesson to learn.  Know that our loving Heavenly Father does care for us and love us so much! Yes, he allows struggles in our lives, but just as we learn from that scripture, our weaknesses become strengths when we have faith in Him.
Will life get hard? Yes.  Do we need to give up? No.
Take this advice, as I have learned that it works wonders...

Gratitude

Words cannot express the gratitude I have right now.  I have felt such an outpouring of love from so many family and friends that I don't think I can say thank you enough.  

The kind words, prayers, and love coming my way is something that I recognize each and every day. To my husband, Scott, who has been there for me every step of the way through recovery, Thank you! To those of you that have brought over meals for us, Thank you! Those of you reaching out to me and seeing how I'm doing, Thank you! Those of you offering your help, Thank you! To those of you keeping me company, Thank you!

This past week has been a big change for me from my everyday routines.  For the past three years now, I have been waking up early, getting ready, packing a lunch, and heading out the door to go teach for the day.  This week has been nothing like that.  I have not been to work all week and I seriously feel lost.  Sometimes you forget how wonderful your job is until you have it "taken away" from you.  I miss teaching, my students, my co-workers, my life as a teacher.  

I am so grateful for the life I have.  Although there are trials in life, that doesn't mean I still can't be grateful.  I am grateful for the trials that come into my life, because I know that they make me stronger.  There is purpose to our lives, and we are blessed with a great way of learning through our trials.  

To go through the trial of having surgery and losing a part of my body, it has been difficult.  To think that the future of me and Scott starting a family may be even more difficult now, it's hard to accept.  However, I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for me.  If Scott and I are to have a family, there will be a way. 

I am grateful to have the knowledge that I have.  I am grateful to have loving family and friends to support me and help me along this adventure, we call life.  I am so grateful to have the life I have and to be healthy and strong.  

I Can Do All Things...

The last 48 hours have been quite a trial for me.

Before school even got out on Friday at 1:25 PM I was feeling so sick to my stomach. I couldn't even finish the day with my class and had someone come in to finish the last few things of the day with my class. 

By 1:40 PM I was on my way home, praying that I would make it home safely without starting to feel extremely sick again. I made it home and immediately got into bed, but could not get comfortable in any position at all. The pain continued to get worse and worse, so Scott came home from work to help out and get me through what I thought would hopefully go away. 

Nothing was helping at this point. I called my OB to see if this was a reaction from taking my third cycle of Clomid. The doctor did not seem too concerned and he said it was a just a reaction and that the pain would eventually subside. I couldn't believe that's all he said with the extreme pain that I was in. So we waited and waited. I tried to fall asleep and by 3 AM I  couldn't handle the pain any more.  We grabbed our things and headed to the Emergency Room...the last place I wanted to be. However, I was so ready for the pain to go away. 

We got checked in and had tests started immediately. After blood tests and ultrasounds, the OB on call came in and said that my left ovary was about 8 cm, about the size of a tennis ball, and was torsed. Well, that explained the pain! 

They prepped me for surgery and off I went. The next thing I knew I was out of surgery and not feeling the pain anymore. 

Turns out that my ovary had completely died. It had become so enlarged and twisted that there was no blood flow for about 12 hours causing the ovary to die. They OB that did my surgery removed my left ovary, which ended up being 10 cm. 

So, after all of this, I can say that I wouldn't have been able to do any of this without Christ. He is my strength. I know that he has suffered more than I have and I can lean on him no matter what. 

I can do all things through Christ, and as you put your trust and faith in him, you can also do all things through Christ.